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How Do I Become a Dating Coach?

By Rhonda Rivera
Updated Mar 03, 2024
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Some dating coaches start off as pick up artists, then eventually become a coach to help others find long-term partners. Other dating coaches have a background in psychotherapy or another type of counseling. Occasionally, a dating coach has no official training at all and is simply good at working with and advising people. Some regions of the world have organizations that certify a dating coach after he or she has trained with the company for a certain amount of hours. These certifications are proof that you have put effort into becoming a dating coach, but they are not recognized by governments or held to the same standards as accredited degree programs.

A lot of dating coaches begin their careers as pick up artists. They attend seminars and classes on delivering pick up lines, studying body language, and quickly seducing another person. Potential pick up artists often attend weekend boot camps and read books by the most successful artists to get tips on how to improve their techniques. Once you become popular in the pick up artist community, it is common for people to look to you for advice on how to better their dating lives. This method of becoming a dating coach is not an easy one, especially because pick up artistry can be very controversial.

To become a dating coach, some people get training in a more standard field like therapy. After all, a dating coach is basically a counselor. He or she usually does not set clients up on dates or tell them where to go to get dates. Dating coaches often simply hear out their clients’ problems, then give them advice on how to improve in those areas. This approach is very similar to financial, career, and other types of professional coaching.

Sometimes a person can become a dating coach with no professional training at all. This is perhaps the most difficult method, even though it requires no studying. To become a dating coach this way, you must be good at advising people and know the world of dating well, in addition to actually getting those clients. Getting paying clients is easier when you have an established social network. If not, a lot of social networking is probably in order to become successful at being a dating coach with no official training.

Another way to become a dating coach is to get certified. A certification is usually not officially recognized by any government, but it can prove to clients that you are serious about coaching. The companies that offer dating coach certifications differ widely in the approach they take and how long one must train to get a certification. In general, however, you should expect to spend at least 100 hours watching videos, reading books, and practicing what you have learned.

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Discussion Comments

By KoiwiGal — On Apr 16, 2014

@Iluviaporos - It kind of is though. If you want to have a one night stand with someone, then just be up front about it. Don't try to manipulate them into the situation you want.

I don't really like the idea of a dating coach either though. I think that if you are confident and happy in yourself you don't need tricks to get other people to like you. I'd rather go and see a decent counselor and become happy in myself than go and see a dating coach.

If you are looking for a long term partner, then a short term coach isn't going to help. So maybe if you want to help people to find love you'd be better off working as a counselor rather than a dating coach. Or at least focusing on the person and not on the dates.

By lluviaporos — On Apr 15, 2014

@bythewell - It depends on what you think dating is for. I know some people think of it as a search for a long term partner but plenty of other people think of it as a way to find short term partners, and I don't think either approach is necessarily wrong.

There are some people who give the term "pick-up artist" a bad name, but I don't think it's an inherently bad thing to do.

By bythewell — On Apr 15, 2014

I guess I just think that there should be a difference between a dating coach and a pickup artist. Because when I hear that someone is a pick-up artist, that makes me think they are someone who will do anything, including lie or undermine a person's self esteem, to get into bed with a person.

But when I hear dating coach, I think of someone who is actually trying to help others find happiness with each other. I guess the skill set might be the same in both cases, since you'd need to know a lot about body language and emotional reactions, but in one case you are being completely selfish and in the other you are trying to spread harmony.

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